im NOT

I CANNOT PRETEND IM HAPPY WHEN IM NOT BECAUSE IM NOT HAPPY!

I know i have been doing it for the past year or so. But i do get sick of it. GET THAT?!

So what's is it all about? You think i smile because i am HAPPY?! You really think so? THINK AGAIN.

AND WHEN IM NOT HAPPY, I AM FEELING SAD, FEELING DOWN OR EVEN FEELING SUICIDAL,

PLEASE, don't even bother asking if im okay.

because im jolly well NOT okay. and YOU know it.

I KNOW you people mean well. THOUGH some not. You just wanna get juicy news out of me, right? You wanna know what has happened to me so that you can go tell your other 'friends'. and your 'friends' passed it to their 'other friends' and so on, right bitches and assholes?

I AM NOT OKAY!! FUCK. im suicidal and depressed. i cut myself. i do stupid cock whenever im alone. i go to the reservoir often, thinking whether the water is salty or what.

SO, people, PLEASE stop your wrong impression of miss lynette lee ai ling, yours truly.

SO, i smile, you add more force to my workload.
I cry, YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!

DONT even give me false hopes, thinking that 'someone finally knows how i feel.'
I THOUGHT i knew one. BUT HE DOESN't EVEN CARE. or perhaps.

Promises, promises, promises.

BROKEN, BROKEN, BROKEN.

numb numb numb.

LETTERS LETTERS LETTERS.

GONE, GONE, GONE!!!

all i ever wanted was just someone to care. THAT'S ALL.

BUT. reality hurts. like a bitch-slap.

IM SORRY FOR THIS ENTRY.